Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
