his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize