You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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