she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
