Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize