I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
