and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
