I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
