but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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