i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
