I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize