yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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