Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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