i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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