why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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