Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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