Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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