is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
