Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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