we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
