you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When are your genitals available?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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