Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
