My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
