Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
