I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
