What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
