Me too!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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