just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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