my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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