if you like me you must not know who I am
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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