I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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