There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
