I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it glows. i had to have it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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