Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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