I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
