Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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