I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
