its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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