theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
