chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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