The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
