HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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