Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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