Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is Oprah even human
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
