dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
