Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
