I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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