i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize