Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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