the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ladies don't puke and tell
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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