Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
