What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
