so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ladies don't puke and tell
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
