you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
