what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
