Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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