yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
