Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
