Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
