idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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